Another season premiere another chance for us to worship Alyssa Milano’s rack. She’s hot, sure, but do we really need to have her body shoved on us at every opportunity? ‘Valhalley of the Dolls’ is a premiere that is a little too long for its own good, killing episode time with useless Phoebe and Jason drama and watching Holly’s self worth drop like hot plates. But what wasn’t faceless filler, actually had a lot of power, and subsequently dug the premiere out of the ground, particularly part 1’s use of Phoebe's latest power advancement.
Paige casts a spell on Piper that accidentally erases her memory when she tries to get her to feel the pain she should be feeling after Leo left her in ‘Valhalley of the Dolls’. The girls discover Leo is missing and after searching for him, find that he is on the island of Valhalla, where powerful warrior souls are taken to train for the final world battle.
Carrying on from season 5’s ending with Leo’s spell on Piper wreaking havoc on the sister’s demon fighting lives, this episode serves as the kick off point of a season long contrivance. What should have been a 40 minute affair was dragged out unnecessarily into two separate parts, resulting in a lot of moping around, and watching Holly make an ass of herself. Again, one has to question the sisters’ intelligence with Phoebe and Paige waiting months before they actually try to fix Piper, who was so clearly under the effects of something.
Phoebe’s empathy was something I liked, but the repercussions of such a serious power advancement weren’t fully thought through. The writers try to fix their mistake later on this season, but up until that point, Phoebe joins Piper, becoming virtually untouchable. What was a nice touch was that it did feel like an extension of Phoebe’s newfound livelihood; a reward for her intuitiveness and ability to read people.
Part 1’s ending was strangely impressive, turning a routine demon huntin' voyage into a painful retread of torturous pain on Piper’s behalf. Phoebe’s power becomes the catalyst for Piper to feel the horrible loss that she’s been suppressing for so long with Phoebe becoming her puppet, even physically attacking Leo. It’s a striking turning point, but again, it’s one that should never have happened in the first place.
Chris’s characterisation becomes more and more lackadaisical as the season progresses, but similar to Oh my Goddess, this episode sets him up as an interesting villain. Here he's clearly working toward some objective, and appears to be someone who isn’t a traditional antagonist bearing the usual “smash, kill “mentality that so many other baddies in this series have. His murder of a Valkerie here is an event that’s easily tossed aside after a while, only springing up as support for Leo’s constant hounding of him later on.
Paige’s uselessness shines like a beacon of painful writing during this premiere, so as we skip over her role in this episode I have to say that this episode isn’t as sloppy as some perceive it to be, just a little overdrawn.
6/10
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